Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Saturday, November 14, 2009
6-7 years ago today you were so worried about your smoker's cough, you said hello to young lads who wrote your name across the car fog, and you told stories about when you were a "kid" even though you were still of age to be a KID. The earth shifted, didn't shake just shifted, extremely high, extremely low, and you wrote stories about sailors you had never met. ^-7 years ago today you worried about your mother's health, your dad's happiness, and your brother's future, you rode across town in your best friends blue vintage car, and her father died shortly after. you moved into her house that summer along with the others, and they all did coke in the bathroom while you watched rules of attraction on the tv, the day they lit the couch on fire was the day you knew it was over, it was the end of an era. time to go onto "bigger and better things", you said but it was " no bigger nor better" six years ago you slept over a lot, you watched the yardbirds to bed he was always wasted and your friends called him "satanic" because he didn't believe in God. Your sister got signed to a big fat modeling agency that shortly drove her mad over her meals and her brain. She was the only person who was really alive to you then because she had a voice of the heavens (you know like they say in the stories about the blind). Your other sister was teaching you how to make music at her boyfriend's house and he was a real gem that one, he taught you neil young songs and she taught you how to use her camera. the truth is i never missed any one of them until i was about to sign my life away to some other country where i would go build a life that wouldn't be much different then it has been for centeries now, at 14 you thought you would die young bella, what happens when you run out of fire?
Monday, November 2, 2009
today is the 2nd worst day of my life...
but daniel johnston about two weeks ago was the best day of my life so i'm sure the 2nd best day of my life is coming
DROWNING but catching 2nd WIND VERY SOON,
Saturday, October 10, 2009
you won't find me in the best of moods, especially when you're busy tying my shoelaces for me. "don't you worry I'm going to send away any person that speaks of that god forsaken day", he says he always says. there are enough people out there that will sweep your misfortunes under a rug, not i, i am busy worrying about the future. "the future with me", he asks, no.. its never been a concern of mine I've just been waiting to get away from you.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Friday, May 8, 2009
Recently my friends shot a film they wrote called "Everything Will Happen Before You Die" they are in post production now so keep an eye out for it this upcoming year sometime. It is insanely funny/brilliant and crazy, featuring some of my most beautiful and darling friends and favorite actors.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
I never imagined the day that i wouldn't be oh so very crazy about you,
the day came and I sat on your bed singing to purgatory
can i take you out to the fair? we can make fruit salads and ride the horses
the children would yell out at us, in such a playful manner of course, like kittens almost "it's for us! those horses are for us"
i turned my back on you good old dear, i adored you so much that i looked up excuses to bring you up in conversation
they once said it best, "time wounds all heals" said lennon "time wounds all heals" i repeated so proudly
goodnight sailor of the sea, see you on the other side this time as dear comrades no longer hopelessly devoted to you
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
if you're so painfully worried lately, you should be
"i just want to see you"
for a better day,
the hour runs me over with its bicycle and i run time over with a stick
more of a staff i must say, because it is what we took on adventures up the hill
"i hope i am never to see you cry?"
i found these notes all over the counter, and all night they called at me to read them
but it wasn't till today that i really realized i weren't in love with you anymore because when i read them, they didn't effect me one bit.
Friday, April 24, 2009
you once said you wanted to get yourself a wife, and sell your boat
"why sell your boat, you can have both i'm sure"
you said that you couldn't imagine you having a boat and being married
because marriage takes away human freedom, and the boat made you feel free
"i don't know what kind of marriage you're speaking of, i know tons of married people, they are most happy and free"
it had a lot to do with a lot of things, simply because you always found yourself with women that controlled you like they controlled their pets. you had learned that behavior from a failed marriage of those older then you were.
my parents constantly were on the brink of divorce, but couldn't and cannot live without one another. "what do you think about that", he asks. "I don't really know". we started washing our feet in the tub, we sat on the edge of the tub and the water turned black. "i like when your feet get bruised and cut", he said.., "i hate it, it hurts a lot". "well then you shouldn't dance without your shoes on".
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Open wounds and Paella
"you're so happy today"
"happier then the last time we spoke over the phone?"
"very much so, you used to talk like plath now you speak like parker"
"i want to speak like myself"
"yea yea but you do, thats not what i meant at all"
"i don't care what you mean, i like to think that i speak like mi mum"