heavens

6-7 years ago today you were so worried about your smoker's cough, you said hello to young lads who wrote your name across the car fog, and you told stories about when you were a "kid" even though you were still of age to be a KID. The earth shifted, didn't shake just shifted, extremely high, extremely low, and you wrote stories about sailors you had never met. ^-7 years ago today you worried about your mother's health, your dad's happiness, and your brother's future, you rode across town in your best friends blue vintage car, and her father died shortly after. you moved into her house that summer along with the others, and they all did coke in the bathroom while you watched rules of attraction on the tv, the day they lit the couch on fire was the day you knew it was over, it was the end of an era. time to go onto "bigger and better things", you said but it was " no bigger nor better" six years ago you slept over a lot, you watched the yardbirds to bed he was always wasted and your friends called him "satanic" because he didn't believe in God. Your sister got signed to a big fat modeling agency that shortly drove her mad over her meals and her brain. She was the only person who was really alive to you then because she had a voice of the heavens (you know like they say in the stories about the blind). Your other sister was teaching you how to make music at her boyfriend's house and he was a real gem that one, he taught you neil young songs and she taught you how to use her camera. the truth is i never missed any one of them until i was about to sign my life away to some other country where i would go build a life that wouldn't be much different then it has been for centeries now, at 14 you thought you would die young bella, what happens when you run out of fire?